okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
