Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
