Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
