um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
