dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
