If that was your dad, he is hot
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
