absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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