I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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