you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
