Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
