Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
