their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just found puke in my bra..
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
