Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
