**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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