I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
