I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I believe in your delicious
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
