Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
