Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the condom got lost in my hair
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
