oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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