Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
