So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
