Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
