We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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