You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
