Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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