I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
