It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I need water and some morals
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
