i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
His nipple licking is glorious
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