thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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