Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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