he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
