2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
