the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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