My sheets look like a crime scene.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
