Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize