yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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