You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
