i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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