After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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