Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
