Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
