In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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