I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
