Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
