How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
