Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Randomize
