you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
