Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
