i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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