I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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