speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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