that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
