i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
