So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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