Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
